you're a mystery yourself

Friday, June 11, 2010

2:17 AM

Right now it's 2:17 in the morning and I'm really depressed. I'm alone in this house right now. My Papa is in Baguio (having fun. maybe.) and my Mama? I don't know. I'm really worried about her right now. I prayed and told God that protect my mom because I love her. I told Him that I will not sleep until Mama's home.

I have a little idea where she is. I bet she's with that DAMN and IDIOT man who used to be her driver. I really wanted to leave Mama when I found that out. I was very depressed back then. Papa was very dramatic then (well now you know why I'm a Drama Queen).

Ok, right now I don't know what to do. My life is very miserable. I don't have real friends (yeah, I have friend but the truth is I really feel that none of them is real. Not Yanyan, not Poleen, not Claire, NOT ANYONE.)

Every night before I sleep I always fantasize me having everything I want - a happy family, real friends and lots and lots and lots of money.

Oh DAMN. I don't want to end up being lonely. You know, I always plan everything - the I must do, what to wear and who to be friends with but I end up not doing what I have planned.

I admit, I'm happy when I have new things but right now what I need is my Mama to come home right now so I will not worry for her safeness, a happy family, a real friend (even just one) and love, care and peace.

I made this post because I can't keep it to myself anymore. I feel like I'll be dying if I keep it up to myself. I don't have anybody to share my life with - what I meant was, I don't have a friend who knows me enough to understand WHY THE HECK I'm acting like this. I don't have parent who will accept everything I say - when I say something wrong they will let me stop and then tell annoying things. I just want to express everything deep inside of me but no one dares to listen to me. No one accepts me for who I am. I am a person too. I also want to tell things about me, not just keep listening to others stories.

OH, I think I need to end it here.

&the beauty.

Hi! I amLayne :] twelve years of living somewhere in Laguna, Philippines I'm smart (: but I'm not a ~~nerd~~!

I am a friendly person. ;)

~?~?~?~

I love friends and hate enemies :D

I love sincerity and hate lies :D

I love winning and hate failures :D

I love fun and hate loneliness :D

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